i have to try so hard not to fall in love…

Suddenly, here we are in November. By this time, I have resigned myself to The Hold Steady in the way that old married couples resign themselves to each other’s bad habits. I may not approve of all this skirt-chasing of tragic women, and I may not understand all of the underlying Judas vs. Jesus banter, but when we’re together, I feel quietly content with The Hold Steady. When I’m happy, they’re ready to offer up “Certain Songs” as a celebration of the things in life that I cherish the most. When I’m desperately sad, they have an inkling that what I need is a creative crutch, and they silently hand me “Constructive Summer” and wait for its healing powers to kick in.

Still, as in all relationships, I’m cautious and waiting for that quiet contentment to break. Coming later this week marks the moment that I am both excited about and fear the most. It’s the moment, really, where we move in with each other and I wait for them to pee with the metaphorical bathroom door open. This Thursday, you see, I have tickets to see The Hold Steady live.

The reason this is terrifying, of course, is that seeing The Hold Steady live is what started this whole debacle in the first place, what inspired years of hate, and what led me down the strange little road to making a blog about my love/hate relationship with a band (as opposed to a blog about my my love/hate relationship with everything else.) There’s a very real sense in which, like many relationships, this could end badly.

At the same time, the fear takes a very secondary place to the excitement; I’m wondering what they’ll play, I’m getting kind of excited, I’m reading about Patterson Hood’s top five favorite Hold Steady songs and wondering if they’ll play them. I’m thinking, too, about what a totally gratuitous “dude rock” tour this pairing is and wondering if I’m finally going to get locked in my status as a secret boy when the Truckers are on stage and break into their fifteen-minute-long version of “Let There Be Rock.”

Right now, though, I’m immensely thankful for all the boys who embody the main characters of all these songs, all the boys who sat me down and said “Listen. Here is what you’re missing about this band.” Right now, we’re really happy together.

This could change. Dudes, don’t fuck it up.

~ by 365holdsteady on November 3, 2008.